|Issue No. 12 Page 1.
How to Confuse the Network Support Guy
Being the Network Support Guy is an important job. There, I said it. It's just that the guy confuses you. Always doing stuff. Busy, busy, busy, fixing things. That, plus he's a little bit, umm...odd.
Time for a 5-step retaliation program. Try this next time you call:
1. Say hello, act stunned, then behave as if he had called you.
2. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
3. Spell the services that you want. Slowly.
4. Casually make references to RRSP's, Perogies, Metamucil, and the colour Puce.
5. Use CB Lingo liberally and end each sentence with, 'C'mon?'
Or, to really confuse the network support guy, just install Novell's new NetWare 5 - he won't have anything to do for a long, long time - just him and the Maytag repair man watching the spin cycle.
Our favourite Novell trio, Don Chapman, Jamey Simzer, and Andreas Bach, teamed up to give members a spirited presentation of the latest release of their popular network operating system. It also marked the start of regular live telecasts of LANDA's dinner meetings to the Internet via CyberTV (re-broadcasts available at cybertv.to and on LANDA's web site).
Directory Enabled Networks is here, now, and Mr. Chapman emphasized that 'This is not a Dot Oh release'. It's thoroughly tested, de-bugged, and in heavy daily use under critical installations everywhere. 'There's no need to baby sit this OS' Mr. Bach confirmed, and reliability is just for starters.
NetWare 5 builds on version 4's introduction of Network Directory Services (NDS) by uniting corporate networks with the Internet. Access to all network resources is possible through a single login, and a single point of network administration, forming one secure, high-performing, and fully manageable business network. (What's the Network Support Guy doing after morning coffee break, I'm wondering?)
The native protocol of NetWare 5 is 'Pure I.P.' - no IPX or NetBIOS based encapsulation. Very cool. This not only means you get a truly open network, but also yields of up to 30% more bandwidth because of the overhead reduction.
Oh don't worry, IPX is still supported, you can choose which protocol to use. When you're ready, seamless migration from IPX to IP is built in so, continuous support for mixed-protocol environments is assured. (Gotta give Network Support Guy something to do.)
Novell says it has 'the fastest Java on the planet', two and a half times faster than anything else. NetWare 5 now becomes a Java server framework for rapid application development and can leverage NetWare's thin server operating system for optimal performance.
This has prompted Novell to include some powerful built-in application services like Oracle 8 for NetWare (5 user license), and Netscape FastTrack Server.
More important new features: